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Posts Tagged ‘work-life balance’

You have to fly to be free!

Life has a way of happening. 

Remember the bumper sticker from Forrest Gump? Shit happens.

So does life, and almost always not the way we planned. 

The limits of opportunity, and the currents of expectations often sweep us away when we’re young. Our elders urge us to be practical. So I became a teacher of language and raised a family. Then I had so many years invested in teaching, it wasn’t practical to change careers. 

We have obligations, responsibilities, restrictions. Our loved ones depend on us. We have to make that mortgage payment and pay the electric bill. Stability gives us security, and we and our families need that.

By the time we are in our 50’s or 60’s, it’s even more difficult to change course. We may be nearing the end of a full career but want something more.

So now what?

I’m likely in the last year of my teaching career, and retirement looks like a precipice. I am headed right for it, and I don’t know what awaits me.

Keep in mind I am speaking from a place of fragile self-esteem. I crumble under criticism, sensitive to scrutiny of any kind. It’s much easier to hide under the fear of failure than to brave success. 

But those dreams from our younger years still live. Is it too late? 

Is it ever too late? 

I had dreams of being a published writer. I’ve written poetry, short stories, fragments of books, and have journalled for years.I even wrote a few pieces for print newspapers when they still had a paying audience–a tiny taste of what might be possible.

As I begin writing again, I expect to feel some satisfaction and to encounter some challenges. I’ve already encountered both. In the coming months, I hope to find fulfillment and a modest income to supplement my retirement.

I am stepping off the cliff, and I still don’t know if I will soar or fall flat on my face. 

How do I direct my course? A tip of the wing here, a slight adjustment there… 

What I didn’t expect? Others flying with me, to curb the turbulence. Look at the view!

I feel light and free!

Can anyone relate? Are you struggling with a turning point in your life, a pivotal moment in which you might change the trajectory of your future? It’s terrifying, but exhilarating! 

Give yourself permission to go for it, to take the chance, to put yourself out there. 

In the smallest and largest of ways, step out and fly! 

© 2024 Joyce Martin. All rights reserved

Note: None of my content is AI generated.

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You may also find my writing on Joyce Martin on Medium & http://joyous461.substack.com

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I come from a long line of………………………….wait for it……………………………………….procrastinators!

You may have seen the joke: 

I’m such a good crastinator… that I went pro!

Sorry, I had to do it! Anyway, the point is, (if I ever get to it) I often put off until tomorrow what I could do today, which is not the way it’s supposed to go.

Can anyone relate? Am I a lone voice shouting in the wilderness, or are there others?

I have battled this tendency all my life, with some success. I have managed to raise a family, teach for 30 years, and keep body and soul together. Yet I have postponed pursuing some of my deepest ambitions. Frankly, I’m running out of time.

Causes of procrastination–

Why do I procrastinate? Lately, I have scrutinized the root causes of what may be slowing me down and found ways to get past them, at least some of the time. Maybe some of this applies to you as well.

Feeling overwhelmed:

So much to do and so little time! Life is hectic for most of us. I’m still a full-time teacher, and I work two side hustles. Add onto that trying to launch my writing online and manage a household and personal life, and I have a recipe for exhaustion and discouragement. I suspect you face similar challenges. 

Some of us do not multitask well. I have tried to skip from one thing to another; sometimes my jobs demand that. Then I end up highly distracted and frustrated, starting various tasks and completing none. Not a recipe for success.

Fear of failure:

Most of us know this insidious feeling of possible failure. It can be quite subtle and vague, taking form in excuses like, “I need to wait until I know more,” or, “My work isn’t polished enough yet.” We practice and we dawdle, we meander and chase wild geese. We fantasize and romanticize future possible success, but do nothing to achieve it.

Perfectionism plays into this. Those of us who want our work to be absolutely the best will overthink, tweak, and edit until the cows come home. Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to just get it done. Nothing will ever be absolutely perfect, so let it go!

Let’s face it. We are afraid of falling flat on our face. Once our creative content or work is out there, it’s out there! Conversely, we are sometimes afraid of success! What if we can’t handle it? As long as we stall, no one knows how good or bad our work is. We can escape scrutiny and criticism. We also cheat ourselves out of growth and progress. 

Low self-esteem:

This one is painful and hard to admit. Sometimes I just don’t believe in myself, or don’t value myself enough to think I am worth the effort. Why try if no one cares, or if they will ridicule my efforts? If I’m so–insert negative adjectives here–why bother? How ridiculous to think that I could ever–insert positive accomplishments here. How dare I think I’m like other people! I’ve always been less…

This kind of negative self-talk often comes from trauma in childhood or early relationships. I don’t know about you, but once it starts going around in my mind, it’s tough to squelch. This leads to “imposter syndrome” and a sense of not belonging. Combine that with a timid, self-reflective nature, and you have an effective roadblock to self-worth and motivation. 

Laziness:

Okay. This one is embarrassing, and you don’t often see it recognized as a cause for procrastination. It applies to me, though, if I’m honest. I am basically a lazy person! Would I rather read, watch movies, doze, and snack on the couch rather than tackle that next article or pile of papers to grade? Duh! I think I could benefit from a lazy support group, set up like AA, where I have to openly say, “I am a lazy person.” 

My excuse? I’m tired. All the time. So it’s hard to push on and do one more thing. But everyone has the same 24 hours each day. Successful people don’t quit until they are done. I want to quit when I get tired and discouraged. Where can I find the drive to break through that languor?

Strategies to overcome procrastination–

Ironically, the best way to overcome all these roadblocks is to successfully meet some of the very goals that I believe I can’t do. But how, exactly? I need specific strategies!

Prioritize and schedule:

The need to succeed is not immediate. Necessity is the mother of invention. Why? Because if you have to get it done or you will not have food, clothing, or shelter, will lose your job or the house, or something equally dire, that’s enough of a kick in the pants to get us going. So we have to find ways to trick ourselves into a feeling of urgency, but everything cannot be considered urgent at once. 

First, list your goals. Under each goal, list the specific tasks needed to achieve those goals. Then, under each goal, prioritize those tasks that must be done first. If each task still feels overwhelming, break it down into smaller chunks, so it isn’t as intimidating. 

Some people love online time management tools. I’m old-school and still prefer paper planners and calendars. It doesn’t matter, as long as you can see and organize all the tasks you have to do. Prioritizing is essential, though, to establish and fulfill a plan and get it done!

Require Accountability:

This is a tough one. To establish accountability, set some deadlines for yourself. Ask a friend, or even your creative community, to hold you accountable, if that helps. These deadlines might coincide with what others expect of you, or they may be totally up to you. 

We have to make accomplishing these tasks worthwhile in order to achieve them. How do we do this? One way is to withhold from ourselves small rewards, such as going out for a movie, buying that coffee, or reading a favorite book, until after we mark off a task from our list. Control your work and  leisure time. Work before play, as the old saying goes

Self-discipline is tough! Try to visualize the smaller, specific accomplishments along the way, and not just the larger goal. For example, imagine the day when you will have your first 50 subscribers on Substack, and not just the vague day when you will have a successful newsletter.

Empower yourself:

It’s easier to play the victim. Then we can blame someone else if we don’t succeed. But we are better than that! We are capable. If we are lacking skills, we have the power to learn, practice, and improve. Life will happen, whether we are passive or active. Obviously, we cannot control everything, but we can control our actions and reactions.

The more we accomplish, the more motivated we will be. Momentum is a real thing. Success is empowering!

It’s a journey. Let’s go!

Please understand. I am writing this to clarify for myself what I need to do. I hope it helps you as well.

© 2024 Joyce Martin. All rights reserved

Note: None of my content is AI generated. Ever.

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe below!

You may also find my writing on Joyce Martin on Medium

You may tip my writing at: https://buymeacoffee.com/joycemartin

Substack link: Joyous Road on Substack

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