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Posts Tagged ‘retirement’

You have to fly to be free!

Life has a way of happening. 

Remember the bumper sticker from Forrest Gump? Shit happens.

So does life, and almost always not the way we planned. 

The limits of opportunity, and the currents of expectations often sweep us away when we’re young. Our elders urge us to be practical. So I became a teacher of language and raised a family. Then I had so many years invested in teaching, it wasn’t practical to change careers. 

We have obligations, responsibilities, restrictions. Our loved ones depend on us. We have to make that mortgage payment and pay the electric bill. Stability gives us security, and we and our families need that.

By the time we are in our 50’s or 60’s, it’s even more difficult to change course. We may be nearing the end of a full career but want something more.

So now what?

I’m likely in the last year of my teaching career, and retirement looks like a precipice. I am headed right for it, and I don’t know what awaits me.

Keep in mind I am speaking from a place of fragile self-esteem. I crumble under criticism, sensitive to scrutiny of any kind. It’s much easier to hide under the fear of failure than to brave success. 

But those dreams from our younger years still live. Is it too late? 

Is it ever too late? 

I had dreams of being a published writer. I’ve written poetry, short stories, fragments of books, and have journalled for years.I even wrote a few pieces for print newspapers when they still had a paying audience–a tiny taste of what might be possible.

As I begin writing again, I expect to feel some satisfaction and to encounter some challenges. I’ve already encountered both. In the coming months, I hope to find fulfillment and a modest income to supplement my retirement.

I am stepping off the cliff, and I still don’t know if I will soar or fall flat on my face. 

How do I direct my course? A tip of the wing here, a slight adjustment there… 

What I didn’t expect? Others flying with me, to curb the turbulence. Look at the view!

I feel light and free!

Can anyone relate? Are you struggling with a turning point in your life, a pivotal moment in which you might change the trajectory of your future? It’s terrifying, but exhilarating! 

Give yourself permission to go for it, to take the chance, to put yourself out there. 

In the smallest and largest of ways, step out and fly! 

© 2024 Joyce Martin. All rights reserved

Note: None of my content is AI generated.

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You may also find my writing on Joyce Martin on Medium & http://joyous461.substack.com

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Teachers drown every day.

They disappear beneath the surface of overloaded classrooms, waves of paperwork, and micromanagement with hardly a splash or a sound. With every teacher that surrenders to the deep, our public education problems worsen. We are hemorrhaging the best, brightest, and most experienced teachers.

I’m a teacher, and I’m drowning. In the metaphorical sense only, thank goodness, but I imagine being overwhelmed and hopeless somewhat resembles physical drowning. All my flailing and reaching for a handhold just takes me deeper. 

I am exhausted and stressed, which exacerbates my health issues. While working two side hustles on top of my teaching job, I am still not able to pay my bills. When I am awake, I am working (about 60 hours per week on teaching tasks, and another 20 to 30 on my side jobs). Having a healthy work/life balance is a pie-in-the-sky dream.  

This is my thirtieth year of teaching junior high and high school in Texas. The continual buffeting through the years of the unrealistic expectations of standardized testing, federal and state regulations, and the demands within the classroom and from the community have eroded my resilience and positivity. That’s on top of the blatant disrespect and misbehavior we often deal with in the classroom, hostility and mistrust from some parents, and administrators with a “gotcha” approach. 

At least I am now in a situation better than many of my peers, where some of my students are respectful and want to learn, and many parents work with us to help their children succeed. The administration in my school supports staff as best they can, trying to ease the tides of federal and state expectations and smooth the waters between parents and teachers. 

I’m exhausted, folks, and I’m not alone. The teacher shortage is real and growing every day. How do I motivate students who see no value or purpose in learning? How do I help those who are 2 or 3 grade levels behind, while challenging a few high achievers, without neglecting the average students? More often than not, I teach to the lowest common denominator because they require more of me. That is the reality. 

I’m tired of policing cellphones and trying to determine the fine line between teaching the correct use of technology versus using it as a crutch. Now we have AI to deal with. The widespread cheating just became exponentially easier. Yet AI can be a useful tool that students need to learn to use when appropriate. No one knows where the perimeters are anymore. It is all changing too quickly. 

Teaching has never been easy, and never will. As one colleague said long ago, “It’s only easy to be a bad teacher. If you want to be a good one, it will be one of the most difficult jobs you’ll ever have.” A good teacher pushes to be great against a current of unrelenting pressures: unmotivated students, unreasonable parents, micromanaging administrators, and the rapidly changing topography of education. All that struggle comes at a high price.

For me, this all culminates in retirement from teaching at the age of 61, probably next year. Then I must find enough work that my pension plus wages will equate to a living wage. My heart will break because I still enjoy many aspects of teaching, and it is a huge part of my identity and purpose. Yet I cannot continue. All things unsustainable must come to an end.

I’m going under, and I am one of many teachers. Did anyone see us?

Note: I understand that many jobs are quite demanding–not just teaching. My sympathies to all! The demands of my life at the current time have severely limited my ability to grow my writing, but I won’t give up. Please don’t give up on me!

© 2024 Joyce Martin. All rights reserved

Note: None of my content is AI generated. Ever.

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe below!

You may also find my writing on joyous Road on Substack & Joyce Martin on Medium

If you would like to support my writing, please do so here: https://buymeacoffee.com/joycemartin

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